9, 12 & 17 yr old step kids incapable of doing activities on their own/entertaining themselves. How to handle?
Kids from different country in USA for 7 MOS. I’ve printed countless activities 4 them from the net. I bought many card/board games. Hundreds of $$ in DVDs. We can’t afford monthly cable. In their country exists a” It takes a village …" mindset. They had large groups of friends doing nightly sleep-overs and vice versa. In the US they can’t do that of course. Oldest works now. 4 the other kids that’s extra difficult. 9 yo is a youngest/only girl. 12 yo boy rarely socializes w/her. 4 either of these kids to draw quietly in their room, read buy themselves; etc seems unheard of 2 them. As an audience is needed 2 even play a video game. I’m subjected to constant harassment and followed from room 2 room as if I’m with toddlers. If I’m in the bathroom longer than a few minute they knock & I’m questioned. Only car is husbands/he’s a taxi driver. Works 19hr days. Won’t buy even .99 activities. Says “Don’t bother me about my kids! And we will NEVER go 2 any counseling" Suggestions or input?
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send them back to where they came from, or have them go in the taxi all day with dad, if your spending hundreds of dollars on dvd’s, then you can afford cable.
Well, you certainly cant blame the kids, or expect them to behave in a way they havent been taught.
They know nothing else. Its like you suddenly becoming a deep sea diver. You’ve never done it, how would you know how?
You’ll have to teach them how to entertain themselves. Theyve only grown in that area to the stage of toddlers, you’re going to have to pick up from there on teaching them. Dont belittle them, but except to set the same sorts of limits.
Show them how to entertain themselves, just like you would a toddler. "Heres some magazines and some glue and sizzors, I want you to make a collage about something you like. This is how you do it. I have to go take a shower, and when i come back i will sit with you and see what youve done." And then dont leave them too long. Check in on them.
"your doing a great job, keep looking for more things like what you already have. This is a great idea, i bet your dad will enjoy looking at these after you go home, we will hang them up for him." And then leave again.
Keep doing this until they occomplish the activity. This way theyre learning in baby steps how to do something on their own.
Remember too theyre in a state of culture shock, being from out of the country and suddenly away from everything they know and is familiar to them. That has a lot to do with their cligyness. Not that you want to encourage it, but nowing where the problem is steming from can help you avoid frustration. They havent been taught how to be independant. You’ll have to teach them little by little.
Sounds Like A Divorce Lawyer May Be Needed
Do these kids ever see daylight? Fresh air, or at least as fresh as it gets, is free. If you live in a city, find out about delivering advertisements or newspaper, a job for yourself, that the younger kids can help out with.
No better time like the present to teach those kids how to sew and cook. Take them to the library.
Surely, they have to have friends at school.