I am a 13 year old girl and I am writing a fantasy/mystery story. It will be in 1st person and will have 2 main characters who will have a chapter each. This is my first draft. Here is the prologue and the start of the first chapter, can you give me your opinion on it please? Sorry for bad grammar it’s not my strong point. Thanks x

"So, will you do it or not?" Dave asked, his eyes were boring into mine. I didn’t know what to do, me and my wife, Grace had been having money problems lately and this could solve everything. But it’s against the law my better judgement told me. I took a big breath.
"How much?"
"You won’t get your money until you have done what I ask, but it will be a lot. At least 2,000 dollars."
I let out a big breathful of air, that amount of money could solve all of our problems and more. Dave knew I needed the money that’s why he was asking me to do his dirty work. Dave was my boss, one of the richest men in Ohio, you could tell by looking at him. He was clean cut with his dark brown hair gelled back from his eyes, he was wearing a suit that probably cost the same amount of money as my car. His office was exactly the same, there was a window at the far end of the large room that took up the full wall and looked over onto the streets below, he had a large mahogany desk piled high with paper work and a sleek black laptop sat exactly in the centre of it. I was standing next to a very large potted plant that kept swaying in the breeze coming through the open window.
"Okay." I sighed "I’ll do it, but just this one time, if you ask me again I’ll say no."
Dave grinned showing of his dazzling white teeth, "You have made a very good decision Ryan, but if you betray me you’ll be sorry."
The venom of his words sent a shiver up my spine.
"You’re free to go, and I want you to work late tonight, to make up the time you have lost talking to me."
My hand was twitching, ready to puch him, but I managed to make my feet move and slowly walk out of the room. Slamming the door behind me.

Chapter 1 – Ryan

The sound of the doorbell made me jump, the house was eerily quiet and it was unusual, Grace was away at a job interview so I was on my own. l got up and went to the front door, I could see a tall and lean sillouete through the frosted glass window on the door. I peeped through spy hole and froze, it was Dave, oh god he was ment to be coming tomorro, I had everything planned out. When Grace came home I was going to tell her that we were going on holiday, of coarse we wouldn’t be it was a plan to get away form Dave. He rang the doorbell again repeatedly, he was getting mad.
"Open the door Ryan, I know you’re in there."
I felt physically sick with fear, he was going to kill me I could see it in his eyes. Grace, was the only thought in my mind as I ran into the kitchen pulling open doors and cupboards, I had to write her a letter saying how sorry I was and giving her instructions. I eventually found a pen and started writing frantically. Grace, I was going to miss her so much,. I went back to the front door, taking baby steps. I am so sorry Grace I whispered before opening the door. Dave was standing on the doorstep, he was mad. His dark eyes looked like blackholes and his face was pulled into an angry frown.
"Were have you been?" He spat.
"Sorry. I was in the shower."
"You know I don’t like waiting." He brought up his fist and slammed it into my face, I wasn’t expecting it, my nose burst open and blood spaterred all over the door. Dave went inside his jacket and brought out a small gun, I couldn’t draw my eyes away from it as he brought to my forehead and pushed me inside. I gulped and walked back slowly.
"You betrayed me Ryan, and you know what happens to people who betray me."
All I could do was nod, he had warned me what would happen, and I broke his rules.
There was a bang and I felt excrucitating pain as the bullet entered my left temple.
I will always love you Gra …-

Is this anygood?

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Ive debated with many people about this, I think it saves petrol because the rpm is much lower, therefore less petrol is being drawn into the engine. I often put my automatic into neutral when coasting down hills or towards red traffic lights. Ive searched the internet about this and all ive found is this:
"12. Don’t coast in neutral
Coasting in neutral could save you money with old cars fitted with carburettors, but modern fuel injection systems cut the fuel supply off altogether as you slow to a stop, saving a surprising amount, especially in stop/start driving. And coasting in neutral, or with the clutch depressed, is potentially dangerous too, because you have no engine braking, and can’t suddenly accelerate out of danger."

How can the engine still be running if there is no petrol being used? And I cant think of any scenarios where being in neutral would be dangerous.
I dont know too much about mechanics, can anyone shed some light on this subject?

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http://www.prisonplanet.com/military-to-work-with-fema-during-swine-flu-outbreak.html

CNN report stokes fears of martial law, mandatory vaccination program

Paul Joseph Watson
Prison Planet.com
Wednesday, July 29, 2009

According to a CNN report, the military will assist civilian authorities in the event of a significant swine flu outbreak in the U.S. this fall, stoking fears that the pandemic, which has claimed relatively few lives so far, will be used as an excuse to implement martial law and a mandatory vaccination program.

“The plan calls for military task forces to work in conjunction with the Federal Emergency Management Agency. There is no final decision on how the military effort would be manned, but one source said it would likely include personnel from all branches of the military,” states the report.

The proposal, which was drawn up by U.S. Northern Command’s Gen. Victor Renuart, is awaiting final approval from Defense Secretary Robert Gates. The first step would be to sign an “execution order” which would authorize the military to begin detailed planning on how to implement the proposal, before actual orders to deploy military personnel are given.

The amount of troops required or whether they would come from the active duty or the National Guard and Reserve forces has not yet been determined.

Northcom has been preparing for mass flu pandemics for years and indeed, Gen. Victor Renuart spoke of the threat of a flu pandemic emerging out of Mexico just weeks before it actually happened.

Testifying back in March, Renuart said Northcom would provide “assistance in support of civil authorities” during an epidemic, adding “when requested and approved by the Secretary of Defense or directed by the President, federal military forces will contribute to federal support.” However, Renuart then added, “USNorthCom does not wait for that call to action.”

“Because Mexico is our neighbor and disasters do not respect national boundaries, we are focused on developing and improving procedures to respond to potentially catastrophic events such as pandemic influenza outbreak, mass exposure to dangerous chemicals and materials, and natural disasters,” he testified.

Northcom was only relatively recently assigned its own fighting unit – the Army’s 3rd Infantry Division’s 1st Brigade Combat Team, which had been fighting in Iraq for five years before that. As we have previously reported, the Armed Forces Press Service has initiated a propaganda campaign designed to convince the American people that deploying the 3rd Infantry Division in the United States in violation of the Posse Comitatus Act is a good thing, with images of soldiers from the brigade helping in “humanitarian” rescue missions, such as car wrecks. This is all designed to condition Americans to accept troops on the streets and highways as a part of everyday life.

The assignment of the 1st Brigade Combat Team to Northcom alarmed the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU). “This is a radical departure from separation of civilian law enforcement and military authority and could, quite possibly, represent a violation of law,” said Mike German, ACLU national security policy counsel.

The news that troops are being prepared to work with FEMA in the event of a swine flu pandemic will increase fears that the government is preparing to enforce a mandatory vaccination program – at gunpoint if necessary.

State health authorities have already confirmed that if the government were to announce a mandatory vaccination program, then there would be no exemptions whatsoever and the program could be carried out with the use of force if necessary.

As reported by CNS News earlier this month, a health-care reform bill approved by the Senate Health, Education, Labor and Pension Committee called The Affordable Health Choices Act, will fund the creation of state “intervention” teams that will carry out home visits in order to check that both children and adults have been vaccinated and also provide “provision of immunizations”.

“Home visits? What exactly is the state going to do when it sends people to “implement interventions” in private homes designed “to improve immunization coverage of children”? asks the CNS report.

There can be little doubt that many Americans will call upon their second amendment rights and resort to using force to protect themselves and their children if the government attempts to forcibly impose a mass vaccination program. This is why the assistance of military personnel may be necessary to subdue potential resistors in the event of mandatory quarantines and inoculations.

The last time the national guard and military worked with FEMA and local law enforcement on a large scale in the United States was during Hurricane Katrina, when they aided in the confiscation of privately owned firearms of citizens, even those who lived in the high and dry areas and were unaffected by the hurricane.

1. Ga
Holly wood they will have to catch me first and Ill be on the bus to the prison camp.

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How old are you before it can be said you died of old age?
If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it?
Why are both of Spongebob’s parents round like sea sponges while he is square like a kitchen sponge?
If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it?
Can you cry underwater?
What shape is the sky?
If you only have one eye…are you blinking or winking?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
After they make Styrofoam, what do they ship it in?
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to
Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
Who killed the Dead Sea?

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I am having a sort of "car sick" feeling. Have you ever been on a long trip and read a book in the car and then had that sick feeling for a while? Car sickness, motion sickness, whatever its called. Only… I’ve had no motion. I don’t drive to work. I’ve been a world traveler. I’ve had a lot of car trips… some of which I read on, so I do know the feeling. It feels the same. All I did was work too long on my pc.

I draw art work on the computer and I worked more than half of the day yesterday on a project. Staring at it enlarged to do minor detail. And I started feeling sick. So I stopped. Only the feeling of being car sick hasn’t stopped. Its been more than 24 hours. I’ve tried sleep. Aspirin. Drinking. Eating. Its that car sick feeling but I’ve not been in a car. How can you get car sick without motion? Also, it may be nothing, but my ear hurts, like an ache down in my left ear drum, but I haven’t been swimming. Any suggestions how to get "un" motion sick?
I should add that I do go outside. I have dogs. That’s sort of a requirement.

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