:"I draw the line in the dust and toss the gauntlet before the feet of tyranny, and I say segregation now, segregation tomorrow, segregation forever. " -George Wallace talking about forcing the white man’s childs going to school with the dangerous neegro childs…

"If any demonstrator ever lays down in front of my car, it’ll be the last car he’ll ever lay down in front of. " -George Wallace talking about the liberals…

"I’ve seen many politicians paralyzed in the legs as myself, but I’ve seen more of them who were paralyzed in the head. " George Wallace talking about lib politicians…

"A racist is one who despises someone because of his color, and an Alabama segregationist is one who conscientiously believes that it is in the best interest of Negro and white to have a separate education and social order." -George Wallace responding to the Race card…

"And it is a sad day in our country that you cannot walk even in your neighborhoods at night or even in the daytime because both national parties, in the last number of years, have kowtowed to every group of anarchists that have roamed the streets of San Francisco and Los Angeles and throughout the country. And now they have created themselves a Frankenstein monster, and the chickens are coming home to roost all over this country." "Yes, they’ve looked down their nose at you and me a long time. They’ve called us rednecks — the Republicans and the Democrats. Well, we’re going to show, there sure are a lot of rednecks in this country." – George Wallace talking in the 1968 Presidential Election…

remember Mr.Wallace was a Democrat himself…God Bless Him and the Historical Democratic Party of the South !!!

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50 fun things to do in an elevator

Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.

Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.

Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"

Whistle the first seven notes of "It’s a Small World" incessantly.

Sell Girl Scout cookies.

On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.

Shave.

Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"

Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.

Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"

Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

One word: Flatulence!

On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.

Do Tai Chi exercises.

Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I’ve got new socks on!"

When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"

Give religious tracts to each passenger.

Meow occassionally.

Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.

Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"

Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.

Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.

Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.

Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You’re one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.

Burp, and then say "mmmm…tasty!"

Leave a box between the doors.

Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.

Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.

Start a sing-along.

When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"

Play the harmonica.

Shadow box.

Say "Ding!" at each floor.

Lean against the button panel.

Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.

Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."

Bring a chair along.

Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"

Blow spit bubbles.

Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.

Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.

Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.

Stare at your thumb and say "I think it’s getting larger."

If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"
plz comment and if you have anything to add on plz do.
if you want to see more go to the humor department at thexocxocpages

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Email me at candyeyed104@yahoo.com if you want to read the rest of the book!

It was raining. It was freezing and all I was doing was studying, under a tree with a poncho on. I was so focused that I didn’t even think about how worried Lem might be. Then the next thing I know was hearing car tires screech and a bunch of people honking horns. Then, it was all a blur.
When I arrived at the house, I first smelled the dew. Its odor smelled like wet dog, but I least we had it here. April was getting things out of the car. June was still in the car, shaking because she was nervous. July was doing her hair and September was yelling at her phone. Now, the first thing you might get in your head when you read this is that they’re my siblings, my answer to that is no. They were my cousins, but not my legal guardian. So, there I was smelling the dew and hearing the wind and trying to adapt to this new place. The only problem was, I didn’t want to adapt as the old Tory, and I wanted to be a different Tory. I had chosen about everything possible you could think of. Clothes, movies, colors, you name it. I was no longer the pitiful, crybaby Tory. I was someone I admired.
I was planning my new life since I boarded the plane and left Lem. As soon as I stepped on the plane, I drew out a red notebook and wrote down every detail about the old Tory. I scanned it, and then did the opposite. For example, if I liked chicken as the old Tory I would love turkey as the new Tory. I sat down by a man, he smelled of strong cologne. He was wearing a tuxedo, his hair was slicked back and he was reading an article about fancy hotel rooms and how expensive some are. It must’ve been boring to him, because there on that very plane he slept. He snored, and worst of all talked in his sleep. He kept whispering this word: efficient. He was wearing cowboy boots, but I assumed they were more comfortable than his black, shiny shoes. I looked at him like he was a crazy guy, and then listened to the airplane music. You could either choose between country, classic, rock, pop and hip-hop. The old Tory would’ve chosen classical music over rock any day, but I wasn’t her anymore.
The old Tory might have been terrified of planes, but I was fearless. The last time I heard Lem would be the time I became the new Tory. So, as soon as I heard her say a final goodbye, I took a wonderful first breath. The air was smooth, and smelled of many odors.
Before the plane told us to buckle up, I was all confused about wear to sit. Tory would never been confused, but I was. The people looked at my ticket and pointed to a seat and I sat down there. When the flight began, I had my headphones on and I was too focused into the music to realize we were lifting off the ground and going in the sky. I was so quick; I was the first one off. Even though I wondered what the guy in the suit was going, I went inside the airport and I saw four faces that looked at me. With their eyes completely serious, their mouth quivering and their feet wobbling, I felt like I was being examined. I walked very slowly to them and the first thing I asked them wasn’t who they were.
“Do you have any five size shoes? These are giving me blisters,” I smiled and that’s how they knew me as Tory. I was a happy Tory.
“Yeah! Their red, the color you like? Lem sent me a whole list of things you dislike and like,” The girl was the tallest out of the four. She was the most energetic and her shoes looked like a giant would easily fit in them. Her eyes were green and a little bit of blue, her hair golden brown, as crispy as a saltine cracker. Her teeth had braces, the color orange. Her fingernails were painted orange, and the bow in her hair matched it. Her jeans were the exact same brand I was wearing. Her necklace said, “sand” and her shirt was a plain white tee. It nearly killed me to see her wear that, because she would definitely look better wearing her pajamas.

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Please help! My fiance’ has his heart on a JEEP. We went to a Public Auction yesterday, but had no success. I feel so bad for him, so no it’s back to the old drawing board.

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"No, please no", I thought to myself. A wave of panic over came my body. I couldn’t breath. I felt like my heart was pounding in my ears. I was standing in front of the Grey’s Anatomy calender Luke had given me for Christmas last year silently recounting all the weeks in August and September. I was praying for an error,but it didn’t look like that was going to happen. I went and picked up my phone and dialed Luke’s number. It rang numerous times before he finally answered.
"hello"
"Hey Luke are you busy"
"No not really I was just about to get my film developed nothing really important."
"Can you pick me up?"
"Uhh yeah sure As just give me five minutes.

I had known Luke since preschool. He’d always been shy and calm but he had a charisma that no one could touch. He was always willing to help someone in trouble in whatever way he could. That was why I’d called him instead of Jade. I loved Jade but I didn’t need her there making the situation more dramatic then what it might be.
I knew he wasn’t over exaggerating about being here in five minutes. He lived 4 houses to the left of mine. I went to the kitchen and poured a small glass of orange juice that I drank while pacing back and forth from the kitchen table to the small window over the sink. When I finally saw his blue Honda crv pull up in front of my house a feeling of peace swept through me. I got my purse from the handle of the door and walked to the car.

I opened the door and silently sat in the seat. I put on my seat belt and stared ahead for several minutes before I realized the car wasn’t moving. I turned to face Luke. He was starring at me with a look of worry written across his face. I knew despite trying to hide my distress he’d picked up on it right away.
"Where are we going" he asked
"Rite Aid" I said trying to sound perky
He started the car and pulled out into the main traffic. I rolled down the window letting the cool autumn air hit my face relaxing my nerves. We went on like this for several minutes. Luke studied the road. Carefully turning the wheel along all the twists and curves. I looked at him carefully taking in his face. He had changed very little in the fifteen years I had known him. His hair was still a reddish,brown curly mop on his. His eyes were still the same shade of amber. He’d gotten taller but was still lean with small muscles. He was no heart throb but he had potential.

The car came to a sudden stop. I looked forward we had arrived. We got out and walked through the doors of Eckerd.
"I’m going to drop this off" he said holding his undeveloped film for me to see.
"Okay sure, I’ll just be over there I said pointing to no place particular. I waited for Luke to leave my side before practically running through the isles to the woman’s section. It took forever for me to find the pregnancy tests considering they were at the very bottom of the shelves. I grabbed two tests Clearblue and some generic brand. I held them each in one of my hands and read the backs. It didn’t take long for me decide on the Clearblue. I headed for the checkout counter.

The cashier was an older woman named June with pink hair. She smiled I handed her the pregnancy test. She looked at me then at the box and gave me a look that said,"Well your totally screwed I don’t even know why you’re buying this when you know what the results are."
"19.88" she said between smacking her gum
I pulled a 20 out of my wallet and placed it on the counter. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Luke standing by the next register looking at the latest issue of Star Magazine.
"1.12 is your change have a nice day"
Thank God I thought. I quickly walked past Luke and to the car with such authority all he did was follow. He unlocked the door and we got in. He looked at the bag in my lap which was semi see through.

Ten minutes later we were in front of my house. My attention was drawn to a bright red coat sitting on my front porch. It was Jade.
"I dont want to do this by myself" I said to Luke
"Do you want me to stay?" He asked
"Please" I begged.
He turned off the engine and we walked up the driveway. Jade jumped up and ran to meet us with a huge grin.
"Hey guys!" she said "Where have you been? dont you answer your phones? I’ve been waiting forever. I jus- "
She stopped mid sentence starring at the bag in my hands like it carried death.
"Oh Damn" she said
I got my key and unlocked the door. I silently opened the door and headed to bathroom. I placed my fate on the counter and ripped open the contents of the little box. I read the directions. Eight minutes later I was leaning against the door, waiting,pondering. Why hadn’t I said no. I was such an idiot. Had the condom broke? I’d been on the pill. All the stupid protection we had used obviously was a waste.

It was time to look but, I just wasn’t ready to look it was my future written in that little stick. I closed my eyes and cleared my mind. I picked up the test and slowly opened my the words came into focus. P-R-E-G-N-A-T-E. Damn it I wispered. The sea of hysterical tears started to come. I slid down the wall onto the floor buring my face into my hands. What was I going to do?
Sorry ppl I wanted to get this posted so bad I forgot to spell check (but I’m not the worlds best speller anyway) sorry about the grammar and spelling mistakes. I’ll fix them

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