Archive for November, 2009

HERE IS a BLONDE JOKE!!!?

Monday, November 30th, 2009

A blonde had just gotten a new sports car and was out for a drive when she cut off a truck driver. He motioned for her to pull over. When she did, he got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. He drew a circle on the road and told the blonde to stand in the circle and not move.

He then went to her car and cut up her leather seats.

When he turned around she had a slight grin on her face, so he said, "Oh, you think that’s funny? Watch this." He gets a baseball bat out of his truck and breaks every window in her car. When he turns and looks at her she has a smile on her face. He is getting really mad.

He gets his knife back out and slices all her tires. Now she’s laughing. The truck driver is really starting to lose it. He goes back to his truck and gets a can of gas, pours it on her car and sets it on fire. He turns around and she is laughing so hard she is about to fall down.

"What’s so funny?" The truck driver asked the blonde.

She replied, "When you weren’t looking, I stepped outside the circle 4 times."

Share and Enjoy:
  • Digg
  • del.icio.us
  • Facebook
  • NewsVine
  • Reddit
  • StumbleUpon
  • Google Bookmarks
  • Yahoo! Buzz
  • Twitter
  • Technorati
  • Live
  • LinkedIn
  • MySpace

Technorati Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Sites
  • Widgi Creek Golf Club, Bend, OR Widgi Creek Golf Club is located in: Bend, OR Phone: (541) 382-4449 Website: http://www.widgi.com/golf/hours.cfm Course History: This is a great place to stop if you will be in the Bend, OR area. We fell in love with this course and can't wait to go back. It is extremely beautiful and......
  • State Default Rates -- A Publishable Application of the RateLadder ListingKey In the past I have talked about my technique for adding a ListingKey to the Loan table of the Prosper.com data export.  While I had successfully added the key several weeks ago I hadn't found an application of the key that I could publish until recently.  A fellow Princetonian and prosper lender......
  • Alternative Income Streams Progress - Early December This is the fourth installment tracking of my alternative income streams plan and progress. This month I'm showing very good progress in creating more money outside my job. I had at least 6 Prosper.com loans get verified in the last two weeks and this blog has been getting a little......
  • 100 Greatest Songs of the 90's Here is the list of 100 Greatest Songs of the 90's taken from VH1. In my opinion, this list is legitimate. Nirvana - "Smells Like Teen Spirit" (1991, #6 US) U2 - "One" (1991, #10 US) Backstreet Boys - "I Want It That Way" (1999, #6 US) Whitney Houston......
  • How To Cure Sore Elbows Elbow pain. Such a little short phrase that is actually able to cause such great and long lasting suffering and pain. Elbow pain can cause a lot of discomfort. Every single person who has experienced this condition knows that this is the case.  How is it possible to get rid......
  • DOW JONES Index Fibonacci Review This week we look at the chart for The Dow Jones Index as our example of using the Fibonacci series. Most Stock market technical analysts/traders commonly use tools such as Fibonacci & Gann analysis methods as part of their investment strategy, as they prove useful in showing points of high......
  • Wednesday Lotto AU 750K Sticking with current strategy: SMALL numbers, 33 or less, having hit in the last 7 draws. A couple of odd ones thrown in. 18 games + Double up, Cost $9.15 1 6 12 18 27 33 1 6 10 11 22 24 1 6 11 12 18 22 3 10......

How can I link two car batteries together so when my plow and sander are going they won’t draw too much power?

Monday, November 30th, 2009

A mechanic told me I could get another smaller battery to fit on the other side for supplemental power for my new sander. I need a new battery soon anyway, the one that is in it is original and 6 years old. I am concerned that the difference between the smaller and larger battery currents might mess with the alternator, any advice?

Share and Enjoy:
  • Digg
  • del.icio.us
  • Facebook
  • NewsVine
  • Reddit
  • StumbleUpon
  • Google Bookmarks
  • Yahoo! Buzz
  • Twitter
  • Technorati
  • Live
  • LinkedIn
  • MySpace

Technorati Tags: , , , , , ,

Related Sites
  • Weight Tracking (Last Attempt) Total Weight Lost: 58lbs Here is my weight tracking page... It will evolve as I get more accustomed to my new lifestyle, but for starters if you want to know about the Jumpstart Medicine weight loss program that I am following read this post WeightLadder Reset — 390lbs and Starting......
  • Widgi Creek Golf Club, Bend, OR Widgi Creek Golf Club is located in: Bend, OR Phone: (541) 382-4449 Website: http://www.widgi.com/golf/hours.cfm Course History: This is a great place to stop if you will be in the Bend, OR area. We fell in love with this course and can't wait to go back. It is extremely beautiful and......
  • Schindler's Actual List In 1980, a writer named Thomas Keneally was buying a new briefcase in Beverly Hills, California. The shopkeeper, Leopold Pfefferberg, was a Polish Jew who had an interesting personal story of how a man named Oskar Schindler saved him and over a thousand other Jews from Nazi extermination in World......
  • I want to exercise more, but my tennis shoes hurt my feet. What are the best tennis shoes for high arches? When walking I have pain on the outside of my feet. Not on the inside where my arches are. The pain is so strong on the outside of my feet that I can't enjoy walking. I don't know what brand tennis shoe is the best for women who have......
  • Physical therapy exercises for finger flexors and elbow? I have some inflammation in my hand (palm side) and finger tendons that makes making a fist kind of sore. Also, I have some elbow issues, mostly in the tendon areas. I do a lot of housework and typing, which may be the problem. I am resting the arm......
  • An Investment Average of 10% won't Guarantee Success An Investment Average of 10% won't Guarantee Success I saw a great advertisement released by my office's parent company today; I have never released what my office's parent company is...and I am not about to start now! Notwithstanding my obsession with privacy, I couldn't get over this info and felt like I......
  • What is a good tennis exercise routine? I have been playing tennis for a bout 3 years and I am playing USTA tournaments now. I have a coach, and I usually play 4-6 times each week. I take lessons and I practice a lot, but what is a good daily exercise routine that I can do that......

if you are bored here are some suggestions?

Monday, November 30th, 2009

-Wax the ceiling

-Rearrange political campaign signs

-Sharpen your teeth

-Play Houdini with one of your siblings

-Braid your dog’s hair

-Clean and polish your belly button

-Water your dog…see if he grows

-Wash a tree

-Name your child Edsel

-Scare Stephen King

-Give your cat a mohawk

-Purr

-Mow your carpet

-Play Pat Boone records backwards

-Vacuum your lawn

-Whine

-Rake your carpet

-Re-elect Richard Nixon

-Critique "Three’s Company"

-Listen to a painting

-Play with matches

-Buff your cat

-Race ferrets

-Paint your house…Day-Glo Orange

-Have a formal dinner at White Castle

-Read Homer in the original Greek

-Change your mind

-Change it back

-Learn Greek

-Watch the sun…see if it moves

-Stand on your head

-Stand on someone else’s head

-Build a pyramid

-See how long you can stay awake

-See how long you can sleep

-Spit shine your Nikes

-Paint your teeth

-Wear a salad

-Speak with a forked tongue

-Get your dog braces

-Shave a shrub

-Have a proton fight

-Watch a car rust

-Quiver

-Rotate your carpet

-Learn to type…with your toes

-Set up your Christmas tree in April

-Buy the Brooklyn Bridge

-Be someone special

-Mail it to a friend

-Go back to square one

-Factor your social security number

-Take the fifth

-Memorize a series of random numbers

-Read the 1962 Des Moines white pages

-Join the Foreign Legion

-Learn Sanskrit

-Exist…existentially, of course

-Print counterfeit Confederate money

-Kick a cabbage

-Take a picture

-Sandpaper a mushroom

-Put it back

-Play solitaire…for cash

-Abuse your patio furniture

-Run for Pope

-Count to a million…fast

-Make a schematic drawing…of a rock

-Commit seppuku…with a paper knife

-Revert

-Think shallow thoughts

-Sleep on a bed of nails

-Boil ice cream

-DON’T toss and turn

-Run around in squares

-Think of quadruple entendres

-Speak in acronyms

-Have your pillow X-rayed

-Drink straight shots…of water

-Calmly have a nervous breakdown

-Give your goldfish a perm

-Fly a brick

-Play tag…on 35W

-Exorcise a ghost

-Be blue

-Exercise a ghost

-Be red

-But don’t be orange

-Paint stripes on a lake

-Ski Kansas

-Sleep in freefall

-Kill a Joule

-Test thin ice…with a pogo stick

-Apply for a unicorn hunting license

-Do a good job

-Crawl

-Invite the Mansons over for dinner

-Paint your windows

-Watch a watch until it stops

-Flash your goldfish

-Paint

-Smile

-Paint a smile

-Flirt with an evergreen

-Rotate your garden…daily

-Shoot a fire hydrant

-Pretend you’re blind

-Apologize to it

-Plant a shoe

-Sweat

-Give a Rorschach test to your gerbil

-Turn

-Take your sofa for a walk

-Write a letter to Plato

-Mail it

-Start

-Stop

-Dial 911 and breathe heavily

-Go to a funeral…tell jokes

-Play the piano…with mittens on

-Starch your shoes

-Polish your Calvin’s

-Contemplate a cockroach

-Get a dog to chase your car

-Investigate the Czar

-Let him catch it

-Form a political party

-Climb a sidewalk

-Have a political party

-Get diagonal…with a good friend

-Ride a loaf of bread

-Sharpen a carrot

-Interrogate a gerbil

-Annoy yourself

-Get mad at yourself

-Stop speaking to yourself

-Be a side effect

-Ride a bicycle…up Mt. McKinley

-Duck

-Redecorate…your garage

-Develop a complex

-Join the Army…be someone simple

-Try harder

-Hit the deck

-Put leg warmers on your furniture

-Cut the deck

-Scheme

-Sit

-Water your family room

-Stay

-Cause a power failure

-Roll over

-Wriggle

-Play dead

-Donate your brother’s body to science

-Find a witch

-Ask why

-Burn her

-Regress

-Sleepwalk without sleeping

-Go bow hunting for Toyotas

-Kidnap Cabbage Patch Kids

-Jump back

-Play to lose

-Scalp a street light

-Have your car painted…plaid

-Read a tomato

-Sharpen your sleeping skills

-Watch a game show…take notes

-Put out a fire

-Interview a cloud

-If you can’t find a fire, make one

-Play tiddlywinks…go for blood

-Play basketball…in a minefield

-Crumple

-Translate Shakespeare into English

-Skydive to church

-Cheer up a potato

-Do aerobic exercises…in your head

-Play cards with your swimming pool

-Pinstripe your driveway

-Play Kick the Fire Hydrant

-Harness chipmunk power

-Build a house with ice cubes

-Call London for a cab

-Mug a stop sign

-Change your name…daily

-Go for a walk in your attic

-Challenge your neighbor to a duel

-Try to join Hell’s Angels by mail

-Wonder

-Be a square root

-Ask stupid questions

-Weld your car doors shut

-Spew

Share and Enjoy:
  • Digg
  • del.icio.us
  • Facebook
  • NewsVine
  • Reddit
  • StumbleUpon
  • Google Bookmarks
  • Yahoo! Buzz
  • Twitter
  • Technorati
  • Live
  • LinkedIn
  • MySpace

Technorati Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Sites
  • Wednesday Lotto AU 750K Today's NSW Lotto is not a lot easier than Monday's. With most numbers looking to come from those within the last 10 draws, and at least 3 or 4 numbers from within 5 draws. Previous draw the Saliu ANY Filters were: 1+ 3+ 6+ 7+ 9+ 16+ All PLUS, strongly......
  • DOW JONES Index Fibonacci Review This week we look at the chart for The Dow Jones Index as our example of using the Fibonacci series. Most Stock market technical analysts/traders commonly use tools such as Fibonacci & Gann analysis methods as part of their investment strategy, as they prove useful in showing points of high......
  • Intech Lancer Junior Golf Set, (Right-Handed, Age 8 to 12, 17.5 degree Driver, 4/5 Hybrid Iron, Wide Sole 7 and 9 irons, Junior Putter, Deluxe Stand Bag) User Reviews Send this to a friend Intech Lancer Junior Golf Set, (Right-Handed, Age 8 to 12, 17.5 degree Driver, 4/5 Hybrid Iron, Wide Sole 7 and 9 irons, Junior Putter, Deluxe Stand Bag) Manufacturer: INTECH Customer Rating: List Price: $89.99 Sale Price: $89.95 Availibility: Usually ships in 24......
  • An Investment Average of 10% won't Guarantee Success An Investment Average of 10% won't Guarantee Success I saw a great advertisement released by my office's parent company today; I have never released what my office's parent company is...and I am not about to start now! Notwithstanding my obsession with privacy, I couldn't get over this info and felt like I......
  • Fell and hit elbow on the cement, now shoulder is sore? Hello all. My husband slipped on the ice on March 8 and landed with all of his weight on his right elbow on the cement. After that his shoulder was a little stiff. Well, it's two months later and his shoulder has gotten a lot worse! He can barely move......
  • Tennis Elbow Exercises Therapy Are you looking for tennis elbow exercises? Tennis elbow is a condition that affects sportsmen and other individuals more often than tennis players. Tennis elbow is a long-lasting condition and hence the prognosis depends on early measures of rehabilitation comprising of rest and exercises. Tennis elbow also known as......
  • Widgi Creek Golf Club, Bend, OR Widgi Creek Golf Club is located in: Bend, OR Phone: (541) 382-4449 Website: http://www.widgi.com/golf/hours.cfm Course History: This is a great place to stop if you will be in the Bend, OR area. We fell in love with this course and can't wait to go back. It is extremely beautiful and......

any suggestions to what this Donald Hall poem is about?

Monday, November 30th, 2009

i really like this poem, the pig speaking, the imagery
but i’m not sure what all the allusions to "ocean pig" the "army consumes every blade of grass’ is all about

any comments on what the whole poem means to you would be great

Eating the Pig
by Donald Hall

Twelve people, most of us strangers, stand in a room
in Ann Arbor, drinking Cribari from jars.
Then two young men, who cooked him,
carry him to the table
on a large square of plywood: his body
striped, like a tiger cat’s, from the basting,
his legs long, much longer than a cat’s,
and the striped hide as shiny as vinyl.

Now I see his head, as he takes his place
at the center of the table,
his wide pig’s head; and he looks like the javelina
that ran in front of the car, in the desert outside Tucson,
and I am drawn to him, my brother the pig,
with his large ears cocked forward,
with his tight snout, with his small ferocious teeth
in a jaw propped open
by an apple. How bizarre, this raw apple clenched
in a cooked face! Then I see his eyes,
his eyes cramped shut, his no-eyes, his eyes like X’s
in a comic strip, when the character gets knocked out.

This afternoon they read directions
from a book: The eyeballs must be removed
or they will burst during roasting. So they hacked them out.
"I nearly fainted," says someone.
"I never fainted before, in my whole life."
Then they gutted the pig and stuffed him,
and roasted him five hours, basting the long body.

* * *

Now we examine him, exclaiming, and we marvel at him—
but no one picks up a knife.

Then a young woman cuts off his head.
It comes off so easily, like a detachable part.
With sudden enthusiasm we dismantle the pig,
we wrench his trotters off, we twist them
at shoulder and hip, and they come off so easily.
Then we cut open his belly and pull the skin back.

For myself, I scoop a portion of left thigh,
moist, tender, falling apart, fat, sweet.
We forage like an army starving in winter
that crosses a pass in the hills and discovers
a valley of full barns—
cattle fat and lowing in their stalls,
bins of potatoes in root cellars under white farmhouses.
barrels of cider, onions, hens squawking over eggs—
and the people nowhere, with bread still warm in the oven.

Maybe, south of the valley, refugees pull their carts
listening for Stukas or elephants, carrying
bedding, pans, and silk dresses,
old men and women, children, deserters, young wives.

No, we are here, eating the pig together.

* * *

In ten minutes, the destruction is total.

His tiny ribs, delicate as birds’ feet, lie crisscrossed.
Or they are like crosshatching in a drawing,
lines doubling and redoubling on each other.

Bits of fat and muscle
mix with stuffing alien to the body,
walnuts and plums. His skin, like a parchment bag
soaked in oil, is pulled back and flattened,
with ridges and humps remaining, like a contour map,
like the map of a defeated country.

The army consumes every blade of grass in the valley,
every tree, every stream, every village,
every crossroad, every shack, every book, every graveyard.

His intact head
swivels around, to view the landscape of body
as if in dismay.

"For sixteen weeks I lived. For sixteen weeks
I took into myself nothing but the milk of my mother
who rolled on her side for me,
for my brothers and sisters. Only five hours roasting,
and this body so quickly dwindles away to nothing."

* * *

By itself, isolated on this plywood,
among this puzzle of foregone possibilities,
his intact head seems to want affection.
Without knowing that I will do it,
I reach out and scratch his jaw,
and I stroke him behind his ears,
as if he might suddenly purr from his cooked head.

"When I stroke your pig’s ears,
and scratch the striped leather of your jowls,
the furrow between the sockets of your eyes,
I take into myself, and digest,
wheat that grew between
the Tigris and the Euphrates rivers.

"And I take into myself the flint carving tool,
and the savannah, and hairs in the tail
of Eohippus, and fingers of bamboo,
and Hannibal’s elephant, and Hannibal,
and everything that lived before us, everything born,
exalted, and dead, and historians who carved in the Old Kingdom
when the wall had not heard about China."

I speak these words
into the ear of the Stone Age pig, the Abraham
pig, the ocean pig, the Achilles pig,
and into the ears
of the fire pig that will eat our bodies up.

"Fire, brother and father,
twelve of us, in our different skins, older and younger,
opened your skin together
and tore your body apart, and took it
into our bodies."

Share and Enjoy:
  • Digg
  • del.icio.us
  • Facebook
  • NewsVine
  • Reddit
  • StumbleUpon
  • Google Bookmarks
  • Yahoo! Buzz
  • Twitter
  • Technorati
  • Live
  • LinkedIn
  • MySpace

Technorati Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Sites
  • Tennis Elbow Symptoms Tennis elbow is a painful condition, and actually more common that many people believe. This article describes tennis elbow symptoms, causes and available treatment and physical therapy for tennis elbow pain. Tennis elbow, also called lateral epicondylitis is a very common injury that results from overuse, injury, or strain of......
  • Monday Lotto AU 1million The last 3 draws have been pretty amazing with the smallest number in each draw being 19 20 21, and most numbers coming from the top of the field (big). The Saliu ANY Filters have been large and point to a drop, ie: all 6 numbers for 1st prize will......
  • Bear Mountain Ski Resort, Big Bear Lake, CA Bear Mountain Ski Resort is located in: Big Bear Lake, CA Phone: (909) 585-2519 Website: http://www.bearmountain.com/index_winter.php About the Resort: Bear Mountain Ski Resort is sumptuously appointed, and it is a true skiers paradise. This resort is known for their terrain parks and snowboarders from all over the world flock here......
  • One Hundred Pushup Challenge -- Knee Push ups, 1 Handed Knee Pushups, and Full Push ups Well if you haven't heard by now then you aren't paying attention to the Health and Fitness blogosphere... Everyone is doing the 100 push up challenge at 100 push ups.   It is a 6 week training program geared toward a final test where 100 consecutive pushups are completed.  (My first......
  • Legitimate Intercourse question...? Has anyone male or female been in a relationship where they had to maintain a certain sexual position that wasn't comfortable in order for your partner to reach climax? I have this problem with my wife and don't know what to do. I have been with her for over......
  • Wednesday Lotto AU 750K Today's NSW Lotto is not a lot easier than Monday's. With most numbers looking to come from those within the last 10 draws, and at least 3 or 4 numbers from within 5 draws. Previous draw the Saliu ANY Filters were: 1+ 3+ 6+ 7+ 9+ 16+ All PLUS, strongly......
  • What does carpul tunnel or tennis elbow feel like? Since I have gone back to work 2 months ago, my right arm has really been hurting. I am right handed and work in a headlight factory so I use automatic drivers all day long. It has never bothered me much before but since being back, it really hurts. Not......

books to read?????

Monday, November 30th, 2009

do you know of any books similar to i’d tell you i love you but then i’d have to kill you OR cross my heart hope to spy i know this author is coming up with her 3rd Gallagher Girls book but it comes out June 9th 2009 but are there any books that combine adventure, romance, spy or detective and really interesting ive read all the nancy drew books and need something to read in the car and such
thanx

Share and Enjoy:
  • Digg
  • del.icio.us
  • Facebook
  • NewsVine
  • Reddit
  • StumbleUpon
  • Google Bookmarks
  • Yahoo! Buzz
  • Twitter
  • Technorati
  • Live
  • LinkedIn
  • MySpace

Technorati Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Sites
  • Alternative Income Streams Progress - Early December This is the fourth installment tracking of my alternative income streams plan and progress. This month I'm showing very good progress in creating more money outside my job. I had at least 6 Prosper.com loans get verified in the last two weeks and this blog has been getting a little......
  • Weight Tracking (Last Attempt) Total Weight Lost: 58lbs Here is my weight tracking page... It will evolve as I get more accustomed to my new lifestyle, but for starters if you want to know about the Jumpstart Medicine weight loss program that I am following read this post WeightLadder Reset — 390lbs and Starting......
  • Saturday Lotto AU 4million Tracking through the NSW Lotto recent results, some quite extreme situations have occured in the patterns analysed. The sum totals have been difficult to predict, as there were 3 games in a row where the smallest number was 19, 20, 21 consecutively, this had not occured for 135 draws. The......
  • 100 Greatest Songs of the 90's Here is the list of 100 Greatest Songs of the 90's taken from VH1. In my opinion, this list is legitimate. Nirvana - "Smells Like Teen Spirit" (1991, #6 US) U2 - "One" (1991, #10 US) Backstreet Boys - "I Want It That Way" (1999, #6 US) Whitney Houston......
  • Wednesday Lotto AU 1.5million No change in strategy today, as both aspects look strong, under 33 mainly or all, and within recent 4-7 draws. Due mainly to Saliu ION Filters being fairly low for a few draws, and having ANY 6 Filters of 43 and 35 in draw 7 and draw 9, all point......
  • Powerball AU 40 million Tonight's Powerball Jackpot of AU $40 million is the biggest ever offered on Australian Powerball. If one person wins the entire $40 million Jackpot, they will become Australia’s largest ever lottery winner! It is good value to have a go today, even if they are hard to pick. The Saliu......
  • Ulnar nerve irritation due to elbow dislocation - is it curable ? if yes, then what's the treatment ? I had dislocated my left elbow. After one week of removal of cast, I started having hardness on the nails of little and ring fingers of my left hand. Same was observed on the portion of palm below these two fingers. On these two fingers, there was a feeling of......